Never In My Eyes
by janiemanie1993
Summary: A oneshot. Shadow talks about his stone cold eyes.


Never In My Eyes

Have I managed it alright? Do you see it? It's what I hate the most in this whole evil world. I showed it once, but the one that saw will never breathe another breath, will never sing another song, will never talk about this whole evil world.

You will never see fear in my eyes.

THAT CURSED DAY! I hate it with more passion than anything. It is not in the world anymore, because like all days, it must pass on. Like fragile humans, soon to be buried with their ancestors, so do days go on with the rest of their lot into history. That day was when I felt the most dread, when I felt it slip past my ever strong grasp into another's eyes. They reflected the nasty demon immediately, but it drove them mad. What a beautifully weak mind.

You will never see fear in my eyes.

Madness. Yes, that is what drove her. Her despair pushed her towards her doom. The only one I could trust, driven mad because of me. Her horror was going to be realized. I know her horror intimately, now. Why could I have not known then?

You will never see fear in my eyes.

Her worst nightmare was not death. No, if it was death, she would have listened to me! She would have gotten in the claustrophobic glass shuttle without a word. Her own disease cured what I thought would make her comply. No, it was not death. Her love caused her fear. Like a mother who should never bury her own baby, she was terrified of my death before her own.

You will never see fear in my eyes.

I never feared anything about 50 years ago. What would an immortal, all-powerful weapon fear? Heights? No. Snakes? No. Water? No. Death? No, immortality defends against it. Failure? Ultimate life forms never fail. Nothing to be scared of. Nothing at all. What can harm me? What caused my downfall was right in front of me, wearing a blue dress and innocent, caring eyes.

You will never see fear in my eyes.

IT WASN'T RATIONAL! SHE WAS MAD! Why would someone who had another chance at life kill themselves for a demon? Why would she choose, after almost finding the key to her victory over that despicable disease, take my place in death? I am an evil, intergalactic science experiment! I am a Weapon of Mass Destruction, and she hated destruction! Why did she do it? Why did she have to love me that much? Why did she have to be like the mother I never had? Why did she not just get into the shuttle and let me be taken away? Why, why, why, why, WHY, WHY,_ WHY, WHY, WHY?!?!_

You will never see fear in my eyes.

My power has done nothing for me. My power is what keeps me from what I want, what I need, what I beg for. I am the ultimate life form because I am immortal. The irony. I am an immortal being who wishes for what he cannot have: DEATH.

You will never see fear in my eyes.

My fear was irrational. The only thing that caused me trepidation was a little girl wearing a blue dress and innocent, caring eyes. She was my bane. I would have done anything for her. My love caused my fear. Like a protective brother who should never bury his frail sister, I was terrified of her death before my own. Why couldn't she have known that then?

You will never see fear in my eyes.

If my love caused my fear, and I cannot let terror out of my being again, then love cannot escape either. Love is a very slippery thing. It can escape through almost any feeling. In that case, no feelings will ever leave out my eyes again.

You will never see fear in my eyes.

I will never show pain, either. When some see pain, they feel pity, then compassion, then empathy, then love. This will also never surface. Never, never, never.

You will never see fear in my eyes.

I cannot fear anymore. I will not cause another death like Maria's. Never, never, never. I will never love like I did towards Maria. Never, never, never. I will never let another feel love like that towards me. Never, never, never. I will not entertain any feelings. Never, never, never. If these feelings sneak up and try to take hold, I will force them down. Nothing will show in my eyes, not even to my mirror, lest it breaks as soon as it knows the depths of my cold heart.

You will never see fear in my eyes.

I have to be very methodical about it. If it feels like it's coming, I have to close my eyes lest it escapes again. If it must escape, it will go out through a Chaos Spear into something that deserves all these horrible, horrible feelings that kill.

You will never see fear in my eyes.

Have I managed it alright? Do you see it? Do you see the wall that shall remain forever? I will never die. Generations upon generations shall see the only creature to have purged emotion from its being. A horrible, horrible procedure carried out for years and years, but now free from the weight of it all.

You will never see fear in my eyes.

Anger may rise out of the depths of my heart, but never fear. Hate may rise out of the depths of my heart, but never pain. Evil may rise out of the depths of my heart, but never love. Never, never, never. A kind deed may manifest in me, forcing me to bend to it. I always bent backwards for her, why not what she loved almost as much as me? But I will never love it. Love will never rise. All that will be seen is a blood red wall with a black center.

You will never see fear in my eyes.

It had a crack I repaired swiftly. When my memory was twisted into wanting revenge, Amy Rose twisted me back. She reminded me of… Maria. The twist was painful. I almost got what I wanted. I almost destroyed the whole earth. It deserved it. But Amy reminded me of my dearest Maria's last words, and I saved that miserable planet. She saw my tears and pain, but lived. What permitted her to live? Why could Maria not live? Why could she not have twisted me before I had destroyed the moon, the only innocent thing that could get close to something as evil as earth? The irony. Now it is dead, like my Maria. She had always loved the moon. What a beautifully weak planet.

You will never see fear in my eyes.

I lost my memory from saving earth, which put back my purging as I tried to situate myself again, but I'm fine now. No more love, fear, or pain. Nothing at all, according to my eyes.

You will never see fear in my eyes.

I might feel it now, but no one will see it. That is the point of it all. My eyes are only a shadow of my soul. A shadow will never show that I am so mangled, so unrecognizable. My name was foreshadowing all of this. The irony. The gods hate me, just as much as I hate them.

You will never see fear in my eyes.

If Maria could see me now, what would she say? Would her heart hurt at the animal I have become? Would she hate me for changing into something without a soul? Would she want to fix me? Would she love me anyways, healing me almost subconsciously like she could? She would do that, I know it. She used to do it all the time. I must hold my tears. I must not think about it. I must forget what I have tried so hard to remember.

You will never see fear in my eyes.

**Did I write that? Wow. That's morbid. This is one of my takes on Shadow. Everyone wants to know what lies behind those ruby eyes, but he won't let you. Oh well. This is just a break from 'The Game'. Please review. I want to know if it's cool or crap. Please? **


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